Standby
Feb. 19th, 2010 | 11:12 pm
mood: 
numb
music: Marina & The Diamonds - Mowgli's Road (Russ Chimes Remix)
If there's something I miss about writing in this space, it's the incoherence & the frantic indecisiveness. That itching need to be translucent but having a clouded recollection of things. & then, & then, I take everything back. What's that about? Ice. But now, my heart feels too heavy.
I'll come clean.
There're times where I yearn for that particular feeling of being safe, & being able to trust & always knowing that there's someone out there who really cares about my feelings. If you've never felt jaded, then you must be really lucky, I wish I were you. I was somehow convinced that someone could piece me together, I really believed I could feel good again, but yeah, that's life, it's bitter, just suck a dick & bear with it. Jaded, no matter how much I hate that word, I cannot deny that that is what I feel.
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Like endless summer
Sep. 16th, 2009 | 04:25 am
01 It is really motherfucking exhausting to have asthma, gasping for air, so painful, especially when I try to take longer breaths. I can't lie down without my chest feeling like it's been weighed down by ten tonnes of steel, I can't cough without without my stomach feeling like it's been kicked at. Don't even want to begin with the ridiculous back pains. It wasn't this bad in the evening, I managed to smoke about 4 cigarettes without any difficulty. It got worse a little while ago. I was smoking & it felt like I was being submerged in water for too long. Damn you, useless lungs. Wonder why I finished the cigarette though, almost like slow death. Whatever, it's a hilarious situation. Feeling pain, hating pain. Not going to rely on a small piece of equipment just to breathe, I'm tougher than that!
02 Cruising in my dreams to the universe & beyond, & maybe I'll see you there
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1/4
Aug. 14th, 2009 | 01:39 am
Well, this isn't good. Only women bleed.
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Behind
Jul. 27th, 2009 | 03:33 am
'blind' in the darkness, over & over again, best song to sleep to, sigh, moandays, goodnight
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Cause & Effect
Jun. 25th, 2009 | 03:49 am
music: keep a secret, wba
need to get
a book on (c)
a copy of ag 07
a map (ref. purpose)
a few extra rolls
a black
a sack
a stomp
a shield
etc etc, but, the map is very important , it will be my latest holyday project, to turn my entire ceiling into a map
should write these things down, or get sidetracked, or get cigarettes, lighting up burns holes in pockets, because, holes are turning up everywhere, holes in the head, holes are in your skin, environment, pushes me around, puts a gun to my head, slide, zap, press, defeated, totally defeated, defeated by self, you are an excuse
nth new these days, still an unhappy human bean, goosenights
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Rule
May. 29th, 2009 | 02:48 am
mood: 
disappointed
music: felt - all the people i like are those that are dead
i
cannot reveal, 1,03,38, 1,05,08, time, stretching it, s t r e t c h i n g it as far as possible, TKT? SDL? the long awaited interval arrives, irrelevance continues without interruption, now you see, you see, no, interval interruption, yes, you see, creatures of habit human beans the source of protein to this hunger the stirring in the loins power power procreate impossible human beans they are, tonight rediscover the reasons too many one two three hundreds five six thousands oh the revulsion the loathing breathless what is this speed this is too unfamiliar chasing chasing the anger out of vision only beauty in the bitterness, hark! rules! this monkey & its human bean, beige, three panels, two doors, dist., the lack of bravery exhibited, sudden burst, flare, overwhelming but i see you - cowardice you see me - stupidity h8 human beans,
how strange, that anger is so, sexual
on a lighter note, tonight, Colossus : The Forbin Project (1970), still have no links to Les Maîtres du Temps (1982), good night,
cannot reveal, 1,03,38, 1,05,08, time, stretching it, s t r e t c h i n g it as far as possible, TKT? SDL? the long awaited interval arrives, irrelevance continues without interruption, now you see, you see, no, interval interruption, yes, you see, creatures of habit human beans the source of protein to this hunger the stirring in the loins power power procreate impossible human beans they are, tonight rediscover the reasons too many one two three hundreds five six thousands oh the revulsion the loathing breathless what is this speed this is too unfamiliar chasing chasing the anger out of vision only beauty in the bitterness, hark! rules! this monkey & its human bean, beige, three panels, two doors, dist., the lack of bravery exhibited, sudden burst, flare, overwhelming but i see you - cowardice you see me - stupidity h8 human beans,
how strange, that anger is so, sexual
on a lighter note, tonight, Colossus : The Forbin Project (1970), still have no links to Les Maîtres du Temps (1982), good night,
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S, L
May. 19th, 2009 | 04:39 pm
The Crow. Loved the movie, want to marry his spirit. Lazy Tuesday, too much sun, too much blue. Need the rain, gloom & purple, sigh. Bbtd, too much, acting cavalier about it, yes. Mthrfucking sun. Waking up after sunset. Goodnight.
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Symptoms of Stress
Apr. 24th, 2009 | 03:35 am
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE
Stressed.
Bitches need to check out www.myspace/WSOG, we've just recorded a couple.
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
A M I L L I A M I L L I A M I L L I
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE
Stressed.
Bitches need to check out www.myspace/WSOG, we've just recorded a couple.
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Monday
Apr. 13th, 2009 | 03:11 am
Dvfloing svfloing dvfloing cifj Monday 0900 wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, wake up call, coffee & juice, remembering you, what happened to you?
5 8 bttybpp like the pretty like the beautiful tired of the wonderful the long the short the long the short the stupid ants stupid ants lodged glass eyes think you stupid ants have manifested signs of think you need to be crushed crushed crushed cannot begin to understand the magnitude of ucweiqtvz now, we will use you use you to perturb the Motion no, you are not prompt to understand massive pin is orbiting around the flower it is yellow canary yellow do you know what my colours represent, because *
Hate
5 8 bttybpp like the pretty like the beautiful tired of the wonderful the long the short the long the short the stupid ants stupid ants lodged glass eyes think you stupid ants have manifested signs of think you need to be crushed crushed crushed cannot begin to understand the magnitude of ucweiqtvz now, we will use you use you to perturb the Motion no, you are not prompt to understand massive pin is orbiting around the flower it is yellow canary yellow do you know what my colours represent, because *
Hate
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So
Apr. 10th, 2009 | 03:28 am
Christiane f. wir kinder vom bahnhof zoo, memories, September. Had tonnes of issues with September. December too. Maybe the entire later half of the year. My heart is broke, but I have some glue. Help me inhale, and mend it with you. Unhappiness by default. It's so easy. Stupid motherfuckers, goodnight. Should just be Agent 47.
Left knee cap's busted, giving me problems, left leg, paralyzed.
